Neighborhoods - Blink-182

Noteworthy

Feliz Año Nuevo, nerds.

I know this album is already four months old, but go with it. This was a request from multiple friends of mine. Plus this band in particular holds a special place in my heart because it helped launch me into a much wider world of music.

The turn of the millennium was probably the worst time to grow up in terms of experiencing art. If you didn’t know better, you were listening to boy bands and prepubescent blonde divas. However, there were a few artists out there like Eminem and Red Hot Chili Peppers that produced music that was actually thought out and not formulaic. Thankfully, the link between these two extremes revealed itself with Blink-182, who never missed an opportunity to point to the fact that there was better music than what was on the surface. Blink stopped it nothing to make fun of Top-40 artists by mocking their stereotypical music-video memes (the shirt-unbuttoned-on-the-beach theme, the dressing-up-like-a-redneck theme, etc.). The band also played their own instruments, which inspired me to actually dust off a guitar I got as a gift once and actually learn how to play.

This new record, Neighborhoods, is the first album since the group's self-titled effort in 2003. While Blink-182 was well received by critics and fans alike, the maturing band dissolved in 2004, halting further work on what could have been a pivotal period. It’s hard to believe these guys are all nearing 40. Now, after seven years since the break-up, it appears that the band must getting things rolling again from scratch. What emerges from the void is a much bleaker and harder vision that works on most levels.

Yes. Surprisingly, this album is pretty good. Although much of the band's former levity is gone, the long recess has given the band a finer musical ear by producing hard-edged punk a sprinkling of Blink-182 spirit. There is little doubt this stems from guitarist Tom DeLonge's involvement in his side project, Angels and Airwaves, an avenue that allowed him to cultivate more creative desires. What results is a transformation from a band rehashing pop-punk anthems to one aspiring for more adult melodies.

This is something that several reviews I read noted, but I agree that the first few songs on the album are not just good, but spectacular. This four-song block — "Ghosts on the Dance Floor," "Natives," "Up All Night" and "After Midnight" — ditch the mawkishness and irreverent pranks from the band's past to dealing with family, loss and love in stark modern world. It is rather impressive how these songs can take the listener both to the mosh-pit antics of “Natives” and to the warm embrace of “After Midnight.” If you're at all curious about the album, these four songs are the album's focal point.

Unfortunately, a lot of the album does not succeed in recreating the same awe-inspiring feeling. While the rest of Neighborhoods contains a lot of vintage late-Blink tracks, such as the bass-heavy "Wishing Well" and the punk-riff-driven "This Is Home," there are some songs that feel rough and thrown together. There are those who blame this on the way this album was mixed. The three musicians recorded many tracks separately and put their individual parts together in the studio. There also was no outside producer to help with the overall process. Although subtle, there is a problematic disconnect for a relationship that requires constant cooperation and attention.

Add to this, some songs seem thrown together lyrically. Take, for example, the opening lines for the first verse of “This is home”:

“We work and slave the day away / We’re raised in perfect families / f*cking fight like vagabonds / We dance like f*cking animals”

Look, I like dropping the f-bomb as much as anyone, but if you use three in the same verse, it’s like you’re letting Richard Pryor write your songs or something. Why not invest some more time writing your f*cking lyrics instead of f*cking around, you f*cks. F*ck! See how it works? If you've been writing for almost twenty years, that kind of effort seems indolent.

Even so, after these problems, this LP remains solid for both fans and rock enthusiasts in general. I would definitely recommend it for any Blink-182 diehard who has not yet become too old and cynical to still embrace the loser kid moniker. I would also highly recommend this album to anyone who enjoyed the band's last album, which was the first album that had Blink exploring more emo (thank God that word finally died) motifs. Otherwise try it before you buy it.

For Your Consideration: "Ghosts on the Dance Floor," "Natives," "Up All Night," "After Midnight"

For Next Time: Perhaps Undun - The Roots

El Camino - The Black Keys

Buy It Now

There is a lot to be said about the blues-rock duo out of Akron, Ohio. As one of the best kept secrets in rock until recently, the band's previous effort, Brothers, served as its coming-out party. The album's effect proved pervasive in everything from critical acclaim to Grammy wins to popular HBO TV series' soundtracks. What seems to make the band so appealing is its unrefined sound and timeless quality.

If you have read my entry on Brothers, you would know I am not really one who appreciated such sentiments. I am on record of showing I was not a fan of the two-piece format (Dan Auerbach back on the guitar and Patrick Carney on drums). I am on record that this calls to mind another nameless duo that gets way too much recognition. To say this influenced my perception of Brothers would be correct. I think my review, while a fair assessment, was definitely too harsh based on the commentary. It is not a review that I would put among my best. Now that I have given this contrite statement, let's move onto the review.

With all that said, this album is pretty much the balls. Right down to the album cover, which features a Woodie-trimmed Chrysler Town & Country instead of the car it should reference, you're in for something different from what you're expecting. While the band's last LP was more blues-oriented, The Black Keys go into a different direction this time on El Camino. It is decidedly more up-tempo, taking influences from everything from R&B to glam rock. What comes out can only be described as the best parts of Bowie's "Queen Bitch" stretched throughout 11 tracks. It's fuzz guitar and driving rhythms. Where this album succeeds is keeping these elements throughout while keeping the music from falling into a stale, dull cycle. Simply put: it works on every level.

The architect of this clean-up is producer Danger Mouse, one of the original mash-up kings and the other half of Gnarls Barkley. Although present as a technician on Brothers' "Tighten Up," he returns to guide the band sonically on every song on El Camino. The result of this is an unapologetic 38 minutes of crunch. However, guitarist and singer Auerbach also brings a certain special touch that I haven't heard prior. Everyone says the guitarist has one of the more authentic blues voices in the biz today. I think he only eclipses this by singing soul. It is incredible to hear him belt out some Motown-style vocals on top of the T-Rex-like pedal tones in "Money Maker." Pop also pervades this effort. On the next song, "Run Right Back," you can hear Doo-Whop influence with its quick, catchy verses and effervescent tempo.

Although seen as a departure for the band from a small number of rabid fans, I see nothing wrong with these two showing a little more swagger. Frankly, this was something the dudes lacked at times. This probably will not please some singer-songwriter fanatics expecting some music in their stockings (look to Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes (another band that has turned me around since its last LP for that). Personally, I always prefer more 'tude to mood if given the choice. For anyone out there who agrees and wants to hear what I'm talking about, you can't go wrong with purchasing El Camino. It makes for one smooth ride.

For Your Consideration - No need. Buy the album.

For Next Time - I promised to review Neighborhoods by Blink-182. We'll see how it goes.

Year-End Top Ten

Happy New Year, everyone ... or is it. My dear God ...

Yes, time is inexorably moving toward 12/21/12, the time when a long-dead civilization's calendar terminates, during which aliens will ravage the Earth, the ozone will explode and the Earth's crust will start to collapse. If you are reading this right now, you might have one year left to live ...

I'm really not that worried. So a couple of Mexicans said the world is going to end for cosmic reasons that we have no way of knowing. People have no idea what's going to happen, and we can't ask any Mayans themselves because the myth is they simply disappeared (which is bullsh*t).

But let's look at the bright side. I consider this whole irrational doomsday craze a win-win for me considering I am a cynical d-bag.

It's a win because the world probably won't end unless the United States pisses China off or something of the like in the next several months. A meteor just passed the world by a few miles a few months ago. Statistically, some kind of event just not in the cards right now based on available information.

It's another win entirely because if these eschatology kooks are right, this year will be the penultimate or final time we ever see a year-end list.

Yes. The long and convoluted introduction this time is about my hatred of year-end "Top-Ten" lists. Do you see what I did? I tied together thousands of people's fears of the future to satisfy my need to express my own curmudgeonly dissatisfaction concerning a rather innocuous constant in arts publications everywhere. They serve little purpose than to belittle the author's respective audience.

Look, it's not that I loathe everything in the world. I'd like to believe I am a pretty tolerant person, especially when it comes to popular culture. I mean I could care less about Justin Bieber. Let the kid do him. The Biebs should be able to have sex for 30 seconds in a bathroom stall and have the girl accusing him of impregnating her be labeled a statutory rapist. He's earned that right as a star. The Twilight saga also doesn't bother me either. It's not my demographic to which Stephanie Meyer is catering. Something has to replace soap operas to keep unemployable actors at work. Having girls obsess over a hunky vampire is one way to keep otherwise normal urges under control. The Religious Right should be thanking Ms. Meyer instead of labeling as a the devil's concubine.

However, I cannot stand the pervasiveness of critics giving their "Top Ten" on their respective field at the end of the year, especially in music commentary circles. I say this because I sincerely doubt these music critics listened to all the albums that came out this year. In fact, I doubt they listened to all the LPs on their lists. When I suddenly see albums from bands I've never heard of make the list, I can't help but think I missed something. Where was a review of this band before? That's right. They were turned onto the band because they saw a review in some obscure Web site or one of their tweeker roommates turned them onto this band. They didn't comment on it because this happened on Dec. 3 and their articles were due Dec. 7.

How can I in good conscience write off this whole process? I can because I've done this several times, and each time it felt so insincere writing a list.

The secret is to list most of the albums that match up to other lists and add two new ones that the other writer didn't think of. It's a pretty simple formula.

At least one album has to be overly pretentious. For this, you need to put your hipster knit cap and glasses on and pick a band out of left field (see Good and Evil by Tally Hall). Reviewers make the mistake in picking more than two, and it makes them seem like sanctimonious a-holes. New bands deserve to be discovered, absolutely. However, it really bothers me that there no coverage in the outlets on that band until this time, and if there was a review, it was a 100-word blurb buried toward the back.

You then need a populist pick. It has to be a decent album, no doubt, but one that Rolling Stone, for example, would probably put at No. 23. The caveat is it can go no higher than No. 4 (RS broke its own rule and put Watch the Throne by Jay-Z and Kanye West as No. 2, a direct violation that made them look really stupid). Take a look at these "Top Tens," you'll find the formula fits in almost every instance.

What does this mean? It means these lists are Grade-D bologna.

I said I've created several of these things before. The last time I did this was at my paper in college, when, in another occurrence of my hapless existence, page designer was suddenly struck with illiteracy and put my clearly labeled list in reverse order — my No. 1o was No. 1 and my No. 9 was No.2, etc. When I flipped to the special section in my periodical and saw the list, which I didn't want to do in the first place, it was printed out of order. I have never been so mad at a piece of paper in my life. It might seem like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but, as you've seen in my analysis of list making above, I looked like a fool to the musically informed across campus.

"Jim, did you seriously put The Blueprint 3 that high?" passers-by asked. No, I didn't, jackass. That was my No. 8. The designer messed up. Don't blame me. Flerg. It didn't matter. I had to own up to the mistake. I wasn't going to go out in State College to defend myself at every turn. So I didn't go into town for a month (because it was Christmas break, but you get the point).

If you're looking for me to do the same this year, no dice. Hopefully, you like this blog for some surprises and my off-the-cuff opinions because you find them entertaining. So, I had the idea that instead of listing some albums I couldn't care less about that happened to be released this year, I would describe some albums that I care about that others would not.

I might not have the best iTunes library in the world, but it definitely brings all the boys to the yard (and they're like it's better than yours). It has a few albums on there that I'm not proud of owning. It also has some albums on there that I absolutely adore that people see and go "Ah..." or "Ew ...," thereby destroying my cred as music guru in-residence. Look, folks, I have 30 GBs on my iPod. There are going to be some stinkers on there.

With that, I am going to make my case right now. This is my "Top Ten Guilty Pleasures List" for 2011. If I don't convince you to listen to these albums immediately after reading this blog ... keep reading anyway because this is a gimmick. These are whole albums, mind you. I got some singles on there that are simply unforgivable.

10. Purple Rain - Prince

This is for all the people who I mentioned said "Ah..." or "Ew..." Yes, to some of you who have good taste, I'm serious. People have said to me, "Prince? Ew... He's a total fruit." You have got to be kidding me. Not only is this one of the best albums ever made, but to say Prince is some kind of crazy fairyboy shows how much you know about music. Even though Prince dabbles in wearing pretty flamboyant clothing, a). it shouldn't matter if he's gay or not, and b). he lays the pipe. I think his dating record (Carmen Electra, Kim Basinger, Susanna Hoffs) speaks for itself. That's neither here nor there. Don't let jokes from old sitcoms write Prince off. This album defined so many genres of music for decades. If you listen to this album, it will change your life.



9. Alive! - Kiss

This gets the same reaction as Purple Rain in that people write them off without even listening to them, but this deserves a little bit more of an explanation. This album isn't nearly as good as profound in the same way Kiss can't compare to the musicality of Prince. It's a little bit more quirky and rudimentary, but that's its charm. Kiss keeps it simple, stupid, and that's what made them so beloved. I agree most of the songs sound the same. That's why it's so good. In my opinion, this is one of the best live albums I've ever heard. There is nothing better than listening to this album when you have the hits for it. It's '70s rock n' roll at its sloppy best. If you give it a chance, you might become a member of the Kiss Army yourself.



8. Come Away with Me - Norah Jones

This is definitely one of my more sappier albums. Even so, sometimes you feel like you want to kick back and relax or cry a little bit. This is the perfect LP for that. Ms. Jones has such a soulful, mournful voice, which helped her garner multiple Grammy Awards in 2003 (to the chagrin of many of the ladies in my grade school who wanted Eminem and Vanessa Carlton to win. Some people absolutely despise Norah Jones to this day. Welcome to the club, Esperanza Spalding). Still, Jones hearkened back to a time when adult contemporary artists could lighten your mood, and this helped introduce me to other jazz singers like Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughn.



7. Hoobastank - Hoobastank

This looks bad. However, the Hoob's debut album is actually a pretty good nu-metal standard. I think "Crawling in the Dark" is an awesome song, and it draws me back to some of the better rock music of the early 2000s. It's not stupendous, but it might be up your alley if you like Incubus of Staind.



6. Brushfire Fairytales - Jack Johnson

This looks worse. This is one of three Jack Johnson albums I own. My cousin called him the James Taylor of our generation. My friend called him James Taylor and Dave Matthews's man-child. Either way, this doesn't scream hip. I think a few Occupy protesters are actually protesting his concert at Philly's own World Cafe as we speak. Even though I kind of feel embarrassed, I think there are a few good songs on here. Of course "Flake" is on here, but I think "The News" is also a good take on how broadcast journalism sometimes takes a too sensationalistic stance. Sometimes you just want to hear some pure acoustic ballads. Still, I understand if you have lost respect for me.



5. ReLoad - Metallica

Yeah. I'm not proud of this one. This is one of Metallica's worst. It's not St. Anger bad, but it's bad. For example, the song "Low Man's Lyric" has some awful bagpipes on it for no discernible reason. For another example, this was the album that gave us the sequel to The Black Album's "The Unforgiven," "The Unforgiven II." Like Michael Bay's Transformers, the original was passable, but the sequel makes you wish the original never happened. What can you expect when you combine blood and semen (That is blood and semen photographed on the album jacket)? Still, it's Metallica. A bad Metallica album is still better than a good Nickelback album (cheap argument).



4. The Goldmember Soundtrack

I bought this because of the Dr. Evil rap. I still know the words. Invite me to your next party because I am very cool. It still has a few good songs like "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire and a Dr. Dre remix of The Stones' "Miss You."



3. Baptism - Lenny Kravitz

To make sure you know how bad this album is, I gave away a lot of my old CDs, and the kid took all 23 of them except for this one. He said he threw it in the trash. I gave these CDs away for free, and he threw this one in the trash. The only song I remember from this album, which I kind of enjoyed, is "I Don't Want to Be a Star," which describes how he deals with celebrity with a few famous friends, but the only thing I remember about this one is how I kind of didn't like it and how someone threw it out. Creepy album cover, too, am I right? I haven't listened to it, according to iTunes, since 2008. Still, better than Nickelback.



2. Retaliation - Dane Cook

Look, I think he's funny, but I can see why people can think he is the biggest doush on the planet. Cook fans say this is the departure point from "Old Dane" to "Doushy Dane," but these are where most of his more recognized jokes originated. I mean seriously, guys, someone sh*t on the coats!



1. Diver Down - Van Halen

I like to see the best in every album, but this one makes it so hard to do that. I hate this album. I bought it because I'm a huge Van Halen fan (Lee Roth era). Because I'm a fan, I can say this: I think David Lee Roth took the reins on this one, which resulted in a lot of bad covers, making "Hang 'Em High" the only good original among the track listing. The album is called Diver Down in reference to the notice posted by snorkelers and divers that says there is someone in the water below. It is a metaphor to show that most of the album's substance lies below the surface; the musical arrangements are the star as opposed to the songwriting. Seriously? No wonder this band broke up soon after this train wreck. Even though the group made 1984 after this album, I blame this work as the beginning of the end for the '80s best authentic rock band (imho). Still, like the title suggests, it shows how versatile the Van Halen family is as musicians. Eddie gets shafted a lot and he's just as good as he always is as a guitarist on this LP, but some songs on here just make you feel extremely ill.

Well, I hope you liked! I hope the world doesn't end so I can do another top ten in a wacky way next year. If you didn't like this departure, I promise I'll go back to the original format next time.

For Next Time: El Camino - The Black Keys

Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay

Noteworthy

It's really refreshing to hear that "Do you know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay" joke from a movie came out when I was a sophomore in high school ... as if my masculinity wasn't already under fire from some of you circus animals. The fact of the matter is Coldplay is a legitimate band, and there is no debate.

If you don't like it, you can blame Bin Laden. No, you've read that correctly. Blame Osama Bin Laden. As I realized during a period of deep contemplation, Osama Bin Laden is indeed indirectly responsible for Coldplay's rise to prominence. Before the Sept. 11 attacks, it was a golden age for music-video decadence. This was at the height of when rappers would shoot the pool party video showering big-booty hoes with Cristal. But you might remember after that trying and terrible day, MTV felt it was irresponsible to show programming like those music videos, "Cribs" or whatever the precursors to "16 and Pregnant" were, which seem pretty tame by comparison. Instead it showed music videos that advocated positive messages around the clock for several weeks. This translated to only a handful of videos getting special preference because sex counts for 88% of the network's revenue stream. And which video was chosen among those? It was "Yellow," Coldplay's breakout song, and the airplay helped the group gain a whole new audience in the United States. So, like drugs and anchor babies, Coldplay is made possible through terrorism. It now makes sense ... I feel like Michael Moore.

I don't have a transition for that, so let's just dive into the band's latest opus straight away. This one is entitled Mylo Xyloto. Since frontman Chris Martin is just a British Bono, I'm going to assume it's named after some Zulu chieftain or something along those lines. Apparently, it's supposed to be a concept album about two rascally ragamuffins that start breaking stuff and falling in love in the process. Martin, in a Philadelphia Inquirer article, called the album one part American Graffiti, one part White Rose movement (which was an anti-Hitler movement in Nazi Germany, history majors) and one part HBO's "The Wire."

I'm going to take you at your word, Christopher, but the music to me conveyed another range of different allusions. To me, the album was one part Alice in Wonderland, one part Coldplay's past and one part Avicii. And unlike Chris Martin's meager explanation, I am going to explain how I came to this methodically and in detail. It's a random list, but bear with me.

When the album works, it whisks the listener away and transports them to another dimension. It conveys this feeling of falling down the rabbit hole and landing in the middle of a black light poster. The effect of wonder that the band creates is the same feeling one experiences in a Lewis Carroll book. I couldn't get the art from the album cover out of my head; it's just a madcap Wonderland gratuitously covered in neon paint (see above).

"Paradise" sets this up very well as track number two, as Martin sings of a girl who runs away from her own real-world predicaments to this preferentially technicolor scene. It then whirls to "Charlie Brown."

"Charlie Brown" is the best song on the album; it's so out-there, but it's also quite fantastic. At first when you hear a strange, artificial munchkin chant at the beginning, you think, "I hear that, right? I hope I'm not becoming schizophrenic." Thankfully, a sweet little riff from guitarist Jonny Buckland takes you out of your stupor and puts this much more colorful realm of display. This is where one can imagine a neon Wonderland, where everything is familiar yet alien at the same time. If you listen to the lyrics, most of the images fit as well.

Add the Wonderland theme to the more ominous "Major Minus," and you begin to have your reservations about staying in this world permanently. The lyrics give the listener the unease of being watched and judged, which fits well in notable Carroll characters like the Cheshire Cat and the Red Queen.

Unfortunately, there are times when the album also stumbles. A song or two deviate to melodies that sound more familiar to those found on their last album, Viva la Vida or Death and All of His Friends. This is a great LP in its own right, but what made it one of the band's best is the way it commented on the state of Western society. Viva la Vida's weakness lies in some of the more unpolished love ballads, which is also one of the flaws on Mylo. In "Us Against the World," Martin sings an uninspiring love song accompanied by an extremely sloppy effects-driven guitar.

I am surprised this was the best take Buckland could do. It takes the listener out of the experience and puts the attention on the poor playing. He partially redeems himself on the song "U.F.O." by plucking another ballad on an acoustic fingerstyle, but he shows he still has more maturing to go as a musician even after all these years.

I can forgive the occasional miss on an album, especially if it's a band I like, but what separates this from others is there are also dreadful tracks that should never have been recorded at all, specifically "Princess of China," or, "the worst rave I've ever been to." It's almost like I need a crowbar to unfurrow my brow after hearing it. It has trance keyboard effects, a drum machine and an out-of-place appearance by Rihanna, who wails miserably over the din of the synthesizer. Unlike a celebrity DJ like Avicii or Girl Talk, Martin cannot take these incongruous factors and make them gel. I am not kidding around when I say it is one of the worst songs I have heard in a while.

"Up and Flames" at least returns to the Coldplay I can recognize, with Martin playing a nice little ditty on piano. Unfortunately, we are still left with the drum machine that permeated throughout the previous track. I can take Martin doing his best Paul Oakenfold impression, but when you are telling one of your best musicians, drummer Will Champion, to sit this one out, you're taking away an integral piece of the group. Champion has always stood alone as the unsung hero of Coldplay. Underrated does not even begin to describe his value as a percussionist. I mean, his name is Champion. Watch out, Nick Cannon! His absence on these aforementioned songs can be discerned immediately. The listener can hear just how amazing he is on the album's final track, "Don't Let It Break Your Heart." His incredible talent propels the song, moving from tribal instruments to cymbals to snare drum seamlessly. If Coldplay would like to continue its success, it had better not replace Champion with a computerized beat ever again.

Despite these doozies, this is a rather solid album. However, with Coldplay's resume, there is a lot to live up to. In the grand scheme of things, when you look at the band's catalog, this is the weakest of its five full-length LPs so far. Sure there are some songs on here that will become immediately iconic, but Mylo Xyloto will be remembered for these anthems instead of the whole package. It's droll and quirky, and those who are not fans are better off downloading it piecemeal. But, even after ore than a decade, Coldplay still has to power to excite an audience. It also found something else out: it is the worst techno band in the world.

For Your Consideration: "Paradise," "Charlie Brown," "Major Minus," "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" (to prove my point about Will Champion)

For Next Time: I might try something new. It might not be a review. Until then ...

Torches - Foster the People

Cuts Only

Hey, guys. Hope you had a good Turkey Day. I had one for the ages (well, a Thanksgiving Eve for the ages anyway ... smh). I had written most of this review last month, so I'm sorry for the delay. Editing is really the worst part of posting these reviews. Expect another blog post, which is in the works, sometime in the immediate future.

I'm not sure how it is wherever you are, but certain songs from electro-pop band Foster the People and their debut album Torches certainly have garnered a lot of radio time on both the pop and alternative rock stations in Philadelphia. If you've escaped from hearing the sickeningly catchy "Pumped Up Kicks," you might have saved yourself from awkwardly humming the tune or muttering some nonsensical lyrics in public places. Afterward, you might have listened to it again, realized the song was about a boy murdering a bunch of other kids with his father's gun, and understood why those people really were giving you funny looks in Starbucks.

Whether you like or dislike the band's ubiquitous single, the group itself is getting to be just as visible. In the past few months, they've been nominated for a "Best New Artist Moonman" from MTV's Video Music Awards, a musical guest spot on "Saturday Night Live" and, most importantly, a viral video starring Vinny, the least recognized "Jersey Shore" cast-mate, and a bunch of little urchins he managed to kidnap from somewhere (Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's illegitimate children, perhaps?).

But after watching the SNL performance and another appearance on Letterman, I thought these guys sounded pretty good live. Not all groups that sound like this can recreate the same dynamic onstage as they do in their recordings. All summer I wanted to hear more from Foster the People without buying its CD. Thankfully, I discovered Spotify was streaming all the songs. It was just as good of a time as any to take in a listen. I thought the group was going to floor me, when it did not live up to my expectations in reality.

The album starts out incredibly strong by opening with "Helena Beat": a song that's even more effervescent than "Pumped Up Kicks" and easily the best tune from the band so far in my opinion. The melodic synthesizer arrangement and lead singer Mark Foster's falsetto blend wonderfully together. If you're looking for an allusion, the only one that comes to mind is if the Bee Gees somehow found their way into "Tron."

As if that didn't get the party started, y'all, "Pumped Up Kicks" is the next track. Once again, I don't know how a song about a kid killing other kids could pique my interest but, like that episode of "American Horror Story" where that angry ghost shoots up his high school before he meets his own end, it's apparently no big deal these days. I guess those of us who were old enough to remember the terror brought on by the Columbine Shootings yet young enough to actually realize how this actually could happen during their own social studies classes are now finding creative outlets the express this fear in the media.

However, as thought-provoking as the album can be, it simply falters in its pace and sputters out. Foster the People comes fast out of the gate, but it can't sustain the feeling throughout all 10 tracks. The tempo from one song to another doesn't change, even in Torches's more sentimental melodies. While the trance-like ballad of "I Would Do Anything for You" and the bass-heavy lighter anthem "Warrant" do their best to hold up the rest of the album, it can't carry the weight from other rhythm-less dance numbers like "Call It What You Want" and "Miss You." There is no room to breathe. The listener won't be able process all the bells and whistles without taking some ADD medication.

To make matters worse, some of the songs are simply not good and just make you want to grind your teeth. Listen to "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" if you're brave enough. You may recognize this sad-sap shanty as background music for a recent Nissan commercial advertising more leg room. I think you're going to need all the leg room you can get so you can throw a tantrum and kick the car seat in front of you after listening to the insipid composition for more than a minute in the car.

Add to this, I also wasn't wowed by Foster's singing. It seems like once he gets to a certain register, he abandons his regular voice for the Barry Gibb -like falsetto. I think if this band is going to get to the next level, the singer needs to trust more in himself and his voice. It seems to me that he possesses the talent after listening to some of the band's live recordings. He just needs to go for it. You're in the studio, after all. The adding more synth effects is not going to mask that problem. It only leads to clutter, something that is omnipresent on the LP.

The group has had many comparisons to MGMT, and most those comparisons land soundly. Foster the People through the lens of Torches is like MGMT's little brother on a sugar high. If I were the band's producer for their next project, I would suggest putting down the coke (beverage or narcotic, either works in this case) and tell the fellas to take it easy and concentrate on the mixing and overall pace. Just because your Yamaha keyboard included the "Pac-Man sounds" package doesn't mean you have to use it every song. Maybe sing an acoustic song without the lasers and baby noises in the finished product. It's important to remember this band is very new; it did not cut its teeth very long before getting a record deal. I'm giving them a pass and not writing them up as a flash-in-the-pan band. However, if the group's time in the sun were to hypothetically end tomorrow, I've heard better.

For Your Consideration: "Helena Beat," "Pumped Up Kicks," "I Would Do Anything for You," "Warrant"

For Next Time: Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay ... and maybe a surprise after that

Tha Carter IV - Lil Wayne

Cuts Only

Oh. Hai. Sup? So, what's new? How about that new Facebook layout, huh? Now I can see which song lyrics relate to a grade-school acquaintance's daily life in two places. I heard it's only going to get worse ... Face it: the Zucks is fucking up.

But, to get back to the blog, I decided to review Tha Carter IV in honor of Weezy F. Baby's birthday on Sept. 27: plus, I thought it would be easier to find all the tracks on YouTube at this point. It's also on Spotify.

While we're on the subject, I don't see how this Spotify deal is exactly legal. Isn't this the definition of pirating? I'm not really sure how it works, but I think people can listen to music from your iTunes or something. I guess downloading without buying is stealing, but listening to it for free in some cloud program makes it OK. Also, isn't this an invasion of privacy? People can go into my music library? It makes things a lot easier for me to review new stuff, but I can't see how this thing can ethically stay up.

But I know a lot of you are Lil Wayne fans, and so am I — just not a super-fan. I only own the rest of the Tha Carter albums. This means:

1. I don't have every single mixtape he's ever released. He put out at least 153 of these things last month alone. If that makes me some punk buster, that's because I am. I'm a 23-year-old white college graduate currently living in the suburbs with my parents until I can find a job to help cover my expenses. Pretty pathetic, but what are you going to do? I listened to this album while my neighbors were taking their 4-year-old daughter and 11-month-old son to Chuck E. Cheese's so as not to disturb them. My guess is that if you're reading this, you probably don't live in Newark, so step off and eat a Nature Valley Granola Bar or something. You can't go wrong with Oats 'n Honey.

2. I don't have any of his pop-guitar shit, such as Rebirth or anything of the like. What I still don't understand is how after three years or whenever he decided to pick up an instrument, Lil Wayne still sucks at guitar. If he wants some lessons from a sick axe-master like myself (I digress), he would only need to contact me. I'll do it for the modest sum of $20K a lesson.

But let's direct our attention to Tha Carter IV, the first album Wayne released since he served a prison sentence for gun possession at Riker's Island. While I feel like the rapper has not missed a step lyrically, I find that this album cannot live up to the lofty precedents that Tha Carter II and Tha Carter III set. Although the songs gain some momentum toward the end, the album lacks that overall "wow" factor that seemed obvious on his previous projects.

I blame a lot of this on some piss-poor production. Most of the songs sound like something out of a Ridley Scott-sci-fi soundtrack — corny and ominous synthesizer melodies that resonate terribly. After perusing the track listings, the pair Cool & Dre were the only technicians I could recognize. This does not help Lil Wayne. Sometimes, no matter how well he strings his words together, he cannot climb out of the metaphorical hole these producers created for him — e.g. not even the line "But they all on my wire like Stringer Bell" can save Wayne from such a stale background of "Nightmares of the Bottom." Yeah. He referenced one of the craftiest gangsters in television history, Stringer Bell from "The Wire," and that even that cannot save the song.

The good news is the album gets better as it goes along. If you're the one person who hasn't heard "How to Love," you'll notice how much of a departure it is. There's a reason why this is the seminal single of this work. Wayne ceases to be a rapper and becomes a singer-songwriter serenading the listener about the plights of women scarred by uncaring men. It comes out of right field for Wayne, who has made it perfectly clear in his songs that he has no time for women interested in his money or fame and, in turn, advocates detachment from a monogamous lifestyle. Here, Wayne shows he is capable of being a romantic.

The next song "President Carter," a more typical rap with a simple-yet-effective hook that is lacking from the others, wittily sampling exerts from President Jimmy Carter's inauguration (Lil Wayne's real name is Dwayne Carter, for those who don't get the pun). Here, Wayne gives his own qualifications for presidential candidacy and muses on the abolition of the separation of church and state, the foolishness of "The War on Drugs," and lighting up while getting blow jobs in the Oval Office. Good stuff, and a solid song.

But what is shocking, and what might be the most noteworthy, is the newly established Roc Nation/Young Money Rivalry could possibly escalate because of a verse on "It's Good."

To get you up to speed, Birdman, Lil Wayne's mentor and Cash Money Records head (the guy who writes Lil Wayne's checks), said his surrogate son was a much better rapper than Jay-Z. Needless to say, Jay-Z didn't think this was the case, citing his monetary worth as the ultimate proof. He then dissed Birdman on the new single "H.A.M.," lambasting that the Cash Money mogul can't even touch the bank account of his wife, Beyonce, let alone his own.

Lil Wayne, in turn, comes back hard on "It's Good" with this verse:

"Talkin 'bout baby money? I got your baby money
Kidnap your bitch, get that 'how much you love your lady' money
I know you fake n----, press your brakes n----
I'll take you out, that's a date n----
I'm a grown ass blood, stop playin with me
Play asshole and get an ass whippin'"

Not only does it show huge balls to even attack Jay-Z and stand up for his mentor, it also shows that Wayne goes for the jugular, attacking the two things Jay-Z loves most: Beyonce and money. Like a comic-book villain, he wants to make him choose which one he considers more important. These are all words, of course, but no one has come that hard at the seemingly invincible Jigger Man since Nas. To hear some critics say that Wayne phoned it in on this album, this is the only piece of evidence you need to argue otherwise. That's the way you do it, folks. This is how you start the next huge feud in the rap community. This kind of puts Drake in a bad position, doesn't it? The rapper, formerly of "Degrassi: The Next Generation" fame, has been under the tutelage of both artists, and was featured on this track.

Note: Drake, as usual, brings down his two featured songs on Tha Carter IV with his presence.

So there are good songs that will be awesome to add to your Lil Wayne catalog here. However, I think the rapper made a mistake not getting some better names to help him with production. Without this part, it all becomes muddled and unpolished. Tha Carter IV does not equal the effort of Tha Carter III — there is not even an argument. I don't doubt that some die-hard fans would consider this as one of the best releases of the year, but it didn't seem like that to me. If you keep him on your musical peripheral or are just a casual fan like I am, this might not be the album for you. If you have everything he's ever done, along with a clone growing in a tank made with DNA from a clump of his dreads, then by all means grip some purple drank and bump Tha Carter IV at high volume.

For Your Consideration: "How to Love," "President Carter," "It's Good"

For Next Time: I'm with You - Red Hot Chili Peppers perhaps?

Watch the Throne - Jay-Z & Kanye West

Noteworthy

This effort by two of the biggest names in rap music today took the world of music by storm as suddenly as it was released. Although Jay-Z and Kanye West have had a rich history of collaborating since Jay-Z's groundbreaking Blueprint album, many thought these two artists' egos could barely fit into a cramped recording studio for longer than three minutes. But after months of speculation, there were rumblings in the music community last winter. This album finally had come together, and the two MCs were in the process of scrutinizing every piece of material.

Although it helps by having Kanye, imho one of the best producers of hip-hop in the game today, oversee a crops of engineers that includes The Neptunes, The RZA and Swizz Beats to create the musical backdrop behind the lyrics, there is only so much this can do to mask the fact that this whole album is not the masterpiece that it was thought to be. I will try to give you a little bit of dialogue that may help illustrate my point:

- Hey! There's something on your shirt.

- Do you think I'm going to fall for that?

- Seriously. You got something on your shirt.

- Really? ... Aw, fuck, dude. The nose thing? What are we, third graders? I should have seen that coming. Why did I fall for that?

- Because you're dumb as shit. I can get you every time.

Familiar? Like the gullible idiot I am, I blindly thought, "OK. If two prideful guys like Jay-Z and Kanye West are going through the trouble of putting out a collaborative album, they really have no choice but to take the attention of themselves individually and work together to put out some sincere and forthright music." What happens throughout, however, is a call and repeat of humble brags as the each rapper does his best to explain how talented, charismatic and influential he is while trying his best not to step on the other's Air Force Ones.

This is the irony that surrounds the whole album, even in the title. Watch the Throne implies a singular entity to which all others must respect: the best rapper alive. Singular. Why is this the best title for collaborative effort. The irony and lack of cohesion does not stop at the title.

In most of the songs, not much is novel and not much can be taken as truth. "New Day," a heartfelt song of emotional purging and morality directed to both rappers' unborn sons that is produced by the RZA, is the strongest song on the album by far. The song describes how both the rappers feel fame has lead to making multiple mistakes, but how those mistakes were made under the best intentions in forging a better life. However, the following track, the '80s throwback-inspired "There's My Bitch," Kanye makes a glorified dis to the conventions of monogamy, seems to automatically nullify what he said in the previous song.

Jay-Z's doesn't come out as a philosopher either. In "Murder to Excellence," Jay-Z relates the struggle of black life, but in earlier tracks, for example "No Church in the Wild," he still clings to the fact that dealing drugs is the best way for African American males to reach the apex of wealth and potential.

If there is any argument for profundity, it lies in the rappers' struggle to live with bestowed fame and maturity while yearning for a chance to return to a more independent anonymity without the curse of media attention.

But something struck me that caused me to question a lot of the messages presented in this work. The strange and omnipresent circus-like outro on many of the tracks seemed to play up that this was all a mirage. It is hard for the listener not to become distracted by this, as it plays on many of the albums more candid and mature tracks. It's almost as if it was put there to suggest this is only a canned sincerity, and everything that was said was merely an act.

That being said, the album's greatest strength is its superior musical value. Every song sounds dynamic and seems to fit in its own place perfectly. "Otis" is a great example of one of many melodic gambles that work in emulating a Motown sound. There are many who don't know who James Brown even is today. I'm going to guess fewer know who Otis Redding is. However, Jay-Z and Kanye are able to use the voices of these late R&B masters as unlikely samples to create one of the album's first singles. The songs can trigger easily identifiable emotions. "Lift Off" sounds like something out of an epic last boss battle of a video game, while "I Can't Stop" sounds like a new take on the electronic music that is continuing to nudge its way into modern pop music. Unfortunately, hip-hop in today's conventions still celebrates the lyricism of the MC first and any musical-production accomplishment as a secondary force.

This is in no way a bad album. For an anticipated album such as this, I only left expecting more. In terms of rapping, it sounds a lot like the stuff you've heard before and does nothing to advance the genre. Aside for a few tracks, most of the album's lyrics remain cliche and do not expand the catalogs of these established artists. Like many works from this era, the whole is not as good as its individual parts. However, the music alone makes it a great way to get pumped up for a night on the town or for a trip to the gym. Check it out and see what you think.

For Your Consideration: "Lift Off," "Otis," "New Day"

For Next Time: Tha Carter IV - Lil Wayne or I'm with You - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Let's Get Busy

Oh. Hey. Wut up. Haven't seen you for a while. I've wanted to get the blog going again, but, like I said a few times before, the world of music has become such a desolate wasteland that I can;t bring myself to write anything.

To bring you up to speed, I just graduated college, and nothing is more life-affirming than returning home after more-or-less four years of independence. I'm not blaming anybody — I pretty much counted on the fact that I would be making less than $10K my first year out of college regardless of Baracky Obs's economic management or mismanagement (whichever you prefer ... this isn't a political blog).

So in between crying over my journalism degree and smelling my finger, as you can see to your left, I've been bartending and following up on any leads for a real job. Musically, I've been catching up on the classics. Take a look at http://www.acclaimedmusic.net to see what I mean.

So, with little options elsewhere, I hope to find some fulfillment in writing by returning here.

Looking back, I thought about how I could make things easier and more enjoyable than just doing the standard album-rating format that you can get anywhere else. Surprisingly, an improvement has shown itself through a new limitation to how I hear new music. Now, I don't pretend to be a saint by using iTunes or supporting my local record store exclusively. In my point of view, if an artist has earned my respect, I will buy a new album unconditionally. But until that time, I'm going to find a way to hear material without incurring too much of a cost, which leads me to my dilemma.

I recently received an e-mail from the Comcast Corp. saying my family's account was being monitored for illegal downloading. I don't know if this is B.S. or what have you, but I must be careful as long as I'm at home. This may mean a slower writing turnaround as I need to find a way to listen to music somewhere online or to get some money to purchase a new album.

But here's the good news! There will be a much simpler ratings system. Money's tight everywhere, regardless of where, when or how you work. This means there's less money for frivolous and extravagant things like an iTunes shopping spree. Reviewers make their living by giving out gold stars (Rolling Stone) or belaboring over an elaborate ratings system (Pitchfork). But what does that all mean to you, the consumer? Hopefully I have an answer. Pay attention to the new ratings and compare to my old criteria:

Buy It - This album is great, and the artist has earned your $. This probably fits within the 5 to high-4 rating.

Noteworthy - This album is OK, but it's not spectacular or memorable. You probably want to check it out by getting a listen before you give over any hard-earned cash. Low 4 to 3 rating.

Cuts Only - Most of this album is pretty bad, but it may have a good single or two. 2 area.

Trash It - Need I say more? 1 to 0 rating.

In terms of writing style, I want reading this to be fun. In the past, I was trying to be overly clever. That kind of writing makes it more about how I can legitimize myself as a writer. In the end, it makes it less enjoyable for the reader. You probably skip over such garbage in the magazine or newspaper anyway. I now promise to give you the facts in a matter-of-fact way. For example, if a lyric needs to be mentioned, I'll mention it, but I'm not going to be Freud and dissect every little word. I want this to be legible and entertaining, not a thesis paper.

I hope to update this blog frequently and regularly in the future. Continue to follow me if you're interested.

For Next Time: Watch the Throne - Jay Z and Kanye West