Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay

Noteworthy

It's really refreshing to hear that "Do you know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay" joke from a movie came out when I was a sophomore in high school ... as if my masculinity wasn't already under fire from some of you circus animals. The fact of the matter is Coldplay is a legitimate band, and there is no debate.

If you don't like it, you can blame Bin Laden. No, you've read that correctly. Blame Osama Bin Laden. As I realized during a period of deep contemplation, Osama Bin Laden is indeed indirectly responsible for Coldplay's rise to prominence. Before the Sept. 11 attacks, it was a golden age for music-video decadence. This was at the height of when rappers would shoot the pool party video showering big-booty hoes with Cristal. But you might remember after that trying and terrible day, MTV felt it was irresponsible to show programming like those music videos, "Cribs" or whatever the precursors to "16 and Pregnant" were, which seem pretty tame by comparison. Instead it showed music videos that advocated positive messages around the clock for several weeks. This translated to only a handful of videos getting special preference because sex counts for 88% of the network's revenue stream. And which video was chosen among those? It was "Yellow," Coldplay's breakout song, and the airplay helped the group gain a whole new audience in the United States. So, like drugs and anchor babies, Coldplay is made possible through terrorism. It now makes sense ... I feel like Michael Moore.

I don't have a transition for that, so let's just dive into the band's latest opus straight away. This one is entitled Mylo Xyloto. Since frontman Chris Martin is just a British Bono, I'm going to assume it's named after some Zulu chieftain or something along those lines. Apparently, it's supposed to be a concept album about two rascally ragamuffins that start breaking stuff and falling in love in the process. Martin, in a Philadelphia Inquirer article, called the album one part American Graffiti, one part White Rose movement (which was an anti-Hitler movement in Nazi Germany, history majors) and one part HBO's "The Wire."

I'm going to take you at your word, Christopher, but the music to me conveyed another range of different allusions. To me, the album was one part Alice in Wonderland, one part Coldplay's past and one part Avicii. And unlike Chris Martin's meager explanation, I am going to explain how I came to this methodically and in detail. It's a random list, but bear with me.

When the album works, it whisks the listener away and transports them to another dimension. It conveys this feeling of falling down the rabbit hole and landing in the middle of a black light poster. The effect of wonder that the band creates is the same feeling one experiences in a Lewis Carroll book. I couldn't get the art from the album cover out of my head; it's just a madcap Wonderland gratuitously covered in neon paint (see above).

"Paradise" sets this up very well as track number two, as Martin sings of a girl who runs away from her own real-world predicaments to this preferentially technicolor scene. It then whirls to "Charlie Brown."

"Charlie Brown" is the best song on the album; it's so out-there, but it's also quite fantastic. At first when you hear a strange, artificial munchkin chant at the beginning, you think, "I hear that, right? I hope I'm not becoming schizophrenic." Thankfully, a sweet little riff from guitarist Jonny Buckland takes you out of your stupor and puts this much more colorful realm of display. This is where one can imagine a neon Wonderland, where everything is familiar yet alien at the same time. If you listen to the lyrics, most of the images fit as well.

Add the Wonderland theme to the more ominous "Major Minus," and you begin to have your reservations about staying in this world permanently. The lyrics give the listener the unease of being watched and judged, which fits well in notable Carroll characters like the Cheshire Cat and the Red Queen.

Unfortunately, there are times when the album also stumbles. A song or two deviate to melodies that sound more familiar to those found on their last album, Viva la Vida or Death and All of His Friends. This is a great LP in its own right, but what made it one of the band's best is the way it commented on the state of Western society. Viva la Vida's weakness lies in some of the more unpolished love ballads, which is also one of the flaws on Mylo. In "Us Against the World," Martin sings an uninspiring love song accompanied by an extremely sloppy effects-driven guitar.

I am surprised this was the best take Buckland could do. It takes the listener out of the experience and puts the attention on the poor playing. He partially redeems himself on the song "U.F.O." by plucking another ballad on an acoustic fingerstyle, but he shows he still has more maturing to go as a musician even after all these years.

I can forgive the occasional miss on an album, especially if it's a band I like, but what separates this from others is there are also dreadful tracks that should never have been recorded at all, specifically "Princess of China," or, "the worst rave I've ever been to." It's almost like I need a crowbar to unfurrow my brow after hearing it. It has trance keyboard effects, a drum machine and an out-of-place appearance by Rihanna, who wails miserably over the din of the synthesizer. Unlike a celebrity DJ like Avicii or Girl Talk, Martin cannot take these incongruous factors and make them gel. I am not kidding around when I say it is one of the worst songs I have heard in a while.

"Up and Flames" at least returns to the Coldplay I can recognize, with Martin playing a nice little ditty on piano. Unfortunately, we are still left with the drum machine that permeated throughout the previous track. I can take Martin doing his best Paul Oakenfold impression, but when you are telling one of your best musicians, drummer Will Champion, to sit this one out, you're taking away an integral piece of the group. Champion has always stood alone as the unsung hero of Coldplay. Underrated does not even begin to describe his value as a percussionist. I mean, his name is Champion. Watch out, Nick Cannon! His absence on these aforementioned songs can be discerned immediately. The listener can hear just how amazing he is on the album's final track, "Don't Let It Break Your Heart." His incredible talent propels the song, moving from tribal instruments to cymbals to snare drum seamlessly. If Coldplay would like to continue its success, it had better not replace Champion with a computerized beat ever again.

Despite these doozies, this is a rather solid album. However, with Coldplay's resume, there is a lot to live up to. In the grand scheme of things, when you look at the band's catalog, this is the weakest of its five full-length LPs so far. Sure there are some songs on here that will become immediately iconic, but Mylo Xyloto will be remembered for these anthems instead of the whole package. It's droll and quirky, and those who are not fans are better off downloading it piecemeal. But, even after ore than a decade, Coldplay still has to power to excite an audience. It also found something else out: it is the worst techno band in the world.

For Your Consideration: "Paradise," "Charlie Brown," "Major Minus," "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" (to prove my point about Will Champion)

For Next Time: I might try something new. It might not be a review. Until then ...