Were you expecting a review this week, my cherubs? As it turns out, I was enjoying sitting on my ass too much this weekend. But have no fear. The Grammy's were on, so just like the Madonna thing that happened last week, all I needed to do was watch TV to think of an idea. I have a review cooking from last week, but I thought this needed to be posted the day after the awards, so I'll post two reviews this week, OK? Super duper!
I didn't go into it expecting too much — actually, I expected a Whitney Houston tribute concert — so I was rather impressed that there was some substance.
I'll dissect some of the show's more notable snippets in what I'd like to call The Good, The Bad and ... and The Nicki. As with all my special-event coverage, get ready for some mind-blowing analysis.
The Good
Adele - Before the Whitney a-bomb dropped, everyone was anticipating if Adele could return triumphantly after vocal-cord microsurgery or if she would burn out like a star too bright to sustain itself. Rest assured, even in a lower key, Adele tore the house down by singing "Rolling in the Deep" and took home six Grammys, including "Best Record" for the aforementioned single and "Best Album" for 21.
The Tributes - Most of the show revolved around tributes for musical-visionaries past, both deceased and current stars of AMC's The Walking Dead. Obviously, with the Whitney Houston tragedy casting such a big shadow over the ceremony, things could have turned pretty dour. However, Jennifer Hudson did a pretty inspiring rendition of "I Will Always Love You" at the end. Before that, there was a tribute to Etta James with Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt, which worked despite the difference in styles. The Beach Boys came out from each member's respective nursing homes to sing "Good Vibrations," and things went well considering Brian Wilson didn't wander off muttering insane dribble about The Smile Sessions and trying to bludgeon Paul McCartney with a surf board. Country legend Glen Campbell was also honored in a fitting tribute from Lady Antebellum, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert after announcing his battle with Alzheimer's and his farewell tour. He also gave a bittersweet rendition of "Rhinestone Cowboy" that was met with a standing ovation. Considering this was supposed to be an all-Whitney-all-the-time event, I was expecting more, even though everyone took it upon themselves to give her a half-hearted shout out just to show some artificial humility; however considering everything happened so fast, J. Hud. gave a fitting tribute for Houston's indomitable voice.
The Journeymen - Although he probably is about to become a zombie himself, McCartney's still shows no signs of slowing down. His first performance from his new album with hired guns Joe Walsh and Diana Krall, didn't wow me, but his medley of songs from Abbey Road more than made up for it, especially when a few of his guitar-playing friends joined him on stage. One was Walsh. Another was Bruce Springsteen, who exhibited great stage presence to open the show when the E Street Band played its new song "We Take Care of Our Own." Dave Grohl was also there after growling out "Walk" with the Foo Fighters in the middle of the show, proving he doesn't make things easy by actively seeking to cause irreparable damage to his vocal cods. Sure, most of the dudes on-stage for the finale had rhythm chops at best, but this was a fitting end for the awards ceremony in the opinion of a guitar buff like myself.
T. Swift - Taylor did well playing a banjo-guitar instrument. I really got a kick out of the set and costumes, too, with everything looking like the first five minutes of The People vs. Larry Flynt when Flynt is like this bootlegging ragamuffin in dirty, baggy clothes and a newsie's cap and there's old crates and gas lamps strewn on the ground. I think sometimes that's what some people envision as the American utopia: where everything looks like a bad animatronic ride in Disneyworld's Frontierland where people drink hard cider and try to kill Br'er Rabbit.
Surprises - With Adele headlining the show, other pop musicians seemed to fall by the wayside. However, Rihanna and Katy Perry managed extremely well. Rihanna performed "We Found Love" note for note and joined Chris Martin onstage for an understated "Princess of China," which proved to be superior to the recorded version. Katy Perry, never the best live performer, was better than usual, mesmerizing the audience with magic tricks and a form-fitting leather suit while singing "E.T." and "Part of Me. " The subject of the latter song seemed topical considering her recent split with ex-husband Russell Brand.
The Bad
Chris Brown - "Horay for spousal abuse!" - Recording Academy.
Chris Brown not only performed twice at the Grammy's, but he also won the award for best "R&B Album." I'm all for forgiveness, but this clown truly disgusts me and those of my gender who feel women should at the very least be treated better than a gym punching bag. I think this is seriously troubling, regardless of the personal things that went down between Rihanna and Brown. I hope the rumor that she's getting back together with him remains a rumor. Thankfully, you can't believe everything you read. Chris Brown deserves to get beaten around the face by one of those American Gladiator chicks. Seriously.
Microphones' Crusade Against Jason Aldean - I don't know who he is, but not only did country star Jason Aldean have his mic cut out during his duet with Kelly Clarkson entitled "Don't You Want to Stay," but there was an audio malfunction during "Best Country Solo Performance," and he was left awkwardly hanging in the wind again. Poor Jason. He deserves at least another gift bag from the Academy for the trouble.
Misunderstanding Bruce Springsteen - Springsteen's new song is meant to be a chance to look at America's misguided embrace of Chicago School economics and the lack of consideration for the poor. Similar to "Born in the USA.," the hook is meant to be ironic, not to be a slogan for Recording Academy President Neil Portnow to use to advocate the Grammy philanthropies, which is unless they are used to finance Blue Ivy's inoculations.
Best New Artist - Most of these artists are not new artists. Bon Iver has been around for four years. Still, congrats Justin Vernon — you looked really comfortable up there, too.
Deadmou5 and Foo Fighters - Ugh.
Chris Martin - Usually a lock, Martin was pitchy during "Paradise." The whole thing was rather unbearable. Better luck next time.
LL Cool Jay as Host - If you're not a comedian, then there's no pressure to host an award show. Just read what's on the teleprompter. LL probably should have done that. I'll give him a pass on the impromptu prayer for Whitney even though it probably made a lot of people in the audience extremely uncomfortable, but read the damn teleprompter. Because if he did, he would know Mr. OG Paul McCartney's adage is not: "The love you get is ... uh ... equal to the love you make."
My Generation - Speaking of Paul McCartney, read this. Feel like you despair the species? Read this. Feel sick? You haven't seen anything yet.
The Nicki
Never has artistic commentary been so profound than when Nicki Minaj called the Catholic Church to task through her song, "Roman Holiday." Either it's cautionary tale on HHS's birth control policy ... or she's actually possessed ... scarier than the actual exorcist because it's real. I'm not sure if Nicki loves to pretend she has Multiple Personality Disorder or if Queens did that to her. I know one of these personalities is this wild child named "Roman" and another one is his British mother named "Martha" and I guess ... you know what? F*ck it. Just watch this.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Sophia Grace and Rosie must have been very confused.
Definitely not Pelican Fly, Nicki. Then again, everybody poops. Better luck next time.
There you have it: my Grammy recap. I think it's so good, it's almost like being there.
For Next Time: Be the Void - Dr. Dog
No comments:
Post a Comment