I would be remiss if I didn't address this in some way. This year's Superbowl was the most watched TV telecast in history. 111.3 million people tuned in to see the New York Giants edge out the New England Patriots for the second time in five years. As a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I was really pulling for a leprosy outbreak in both locker rooms this year, but anything would be better than a parade in New York. Once again, it appears that if God cares about such matters, He truly despises Philly sports fans.
But we are not talking about football. How about that halftime show? 114 million people watched it — that's three million more than the actual game! And, you know what, I thought it was pretty good. I had a much more enjoyable time tweeting about it than others, I guess (cue The Barry Gibb Talk Show: ROLAND S. MARTIN. CNN POLITICAL CONSULTANT ...). Does anybody remember those horrible ones that were forced "collaborations" (henceforth known as "collabos" to show how much credence I have given them) such as the one with Britney Spears and *NSYNC and Aerosmith? Or the one with Shania Twain and Sting and No Doubt? Thank God the last true "collabo" with Nelly, Puffy, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson happened. Boobs really do cure all ills. Now you only have to watch one artist, usually a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, perform established standards that we all know and love. I mean, think about it: Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce and the E Street Band, The Who. Go ahead and skip The Black Eyed Peas because, again, for the most part another "collabo."
Sure, there were people like LMFAO and Cee-Lo Green who had no business being there, but 80 percent of the performance were Madonna songs, and the ones that weren't only lasted for less than a minute anyway.
But here's where Madonna got an unfair shake. The morning after, there were so many news outlets putting out trash under taglines like "Has Madonna Lost Her Touch?" and "Is Madonna over the Hill?" I usually wake up and turn on the TV because I usually lie there for a minute. On Monday, I heard Ann Curry basically set up the halftime show recap by basically saying, "Look at this old bitch flailing around here." I don't think that's not fair. That's not fair at all. I'm not a fan of Madonna, but I respect that she put out a show given all the past issues and negativity surrounding it. She doesn't deserve the criticism she's been getting.
First, she didn't do anything that should have warranted those comments. Madonna's an aging sex symbol, but she didn't throw anything in our face that tried to remind us. She just went out there to perform. She has a record a mile long that would have said something crazy is going to go down — the Britney Spears kiss, the "Like a Prayer" video with swarthy Jesus, her glorified porno book simply titled Sex just to list several of the more notable controversial statements. Anything remotely like that would have be even crazier because this is not the environment for those things. But, she covered up and did her entire show so it was family friendly. I thank her for that because any arm jiggling would have made me gag on the Scotch I was sipping. In fact, the only person who did anything was M.I.A., and that I think that was deserved.
Who's M.I.A.? Forgot about "Paper Planes" already? That's one angry Bangladeshi, as well she should be. Flip away, M.I.A., flip away.
Second, Madonna is 53 years old. We're lucky she's even willing to do this sh*t still. This gig is just the worst: a futile battle aimed to please everyone. She still took up the challenge and gave America a good performance. So she lip-synced? Who cares? At that point, nobody wants you to make new arrangements of old songs. Just have them sound like how they're supposed to sound. Unplugged is still on MTV, right? Nope. Point for me. So she stumbled on that 300-foot-tall set of bleachers? Who cares? Remember when an ostensibly intoxicated Bruce Springsteen did a power slide during the Superbowl and took out that camera guy? No one said he should crawl back into the retirement community he came from. Two points for me.
Still, Madonna has the stigma of being an aging woman, I guess. That means anyone with a platform can make a borderline sexist statement without batting an eyelash. No one said this about The Stones, and they are only alive because Brendan Frasier read aloud from some Egyptian tablet back in 1999.
What it comes down to is we need to give Madonna some credit. If you were expecting The Beatles at Shea Stadium, you were expecting too much. But, as evidenced by this year and last year, the "collabos" are slowly but surely returning to the halftime show. Expect LMFAO back, but this time with Adele and Skrilxx or whoever is free and wants to make $5 million to sing "Brown Eyed Girl" or something else completely arbitrary. Sounds awful. The same people joking now are going to be begging for Madonna to come back. I personally hope she brings the tightrope guy who mutilated his junk, too. That was hilarious.
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